Court TV Boredom

I am soooo bored! Oh my God! I totally gave my friend a seizure and so now she has to recooperate, which I totally think is necessary, but I wanted to see her like, non-stop and now our plans have to be changed. It's okay, especially since it was at least 50% my fault, what with the late night binge drinking and all. But now I am trapped in my mother's house with nothing to do but dig through her confidential files looking for my birthmother's name and watching CSPAN on mute. Let me tell you, it's atually less dull that way.

Additionally, I've spent many hours harassing J, on the telephone and with inane text messages, until he decided it would be prudent to fly out to California to beat me senseless with a frozen chicken...his words, not mine. I know...he's totally vicious, right? His depravity rating is a solid 21% today. It's just hard not to annoy him when I know he's holed up in his apartment in his man-panties getting funky with Miss Newton-John, while he scrubs his countertops obsessively. Okay, maybe those were my images and not necessarily the facts, but you know what I mean. He's tired of my antics and shut off his phone; can't say I blame him. Bored, both of us.

So, I have done very little by way of productivity and have to say: been lovin' it. No curriculum, no writing to colleagues, no responding to college admissons people...totally useless days. If I didn't think he'd really smack me around with a two-by-four like he's been promising, I would mail my calender and phone numbers to J to let him make the calls for me. I am so wretchedly lazy!!! I will be thrilled to get back home to a fucking cable internet connection and long hours of solitude; I promise to spend my first day writing a new story. Why did I write this down? Oh, yeah. Bored.