The State of the Economy

Where have I been indeed? I've been sick, bitches...and it's killin' me. I got Tuesday off for Roshashana (sweet, cause I'm not Jewish, but I spent the whole day moping about the house in jammies...diddling, if you will). It's one of those sinus things that will undoubtedly become much worse before it gets better. And now I am hacking like a fiend. A fiend, I tell you.

See, I realize this isn't interesting to you all (and actually rather gross), but I am telling you because I am not at liberty to disclose all of the other things I am up to. I will say that I am being a VERY good girl--doing what I'm told, diligently scrubbing my house clean, and completing tasks that are long overdue--except for S's story, which is shamefully only half-done. I may have been a wee bit intimidated by the juiciness and sheer zowie-factor of the last one. But, I see it as a personal challenge to constantly one-up him, so I have been picking away at it between naps.

I have spent a large portion of the last few days on the phone. That's been fun. B gets to play video games while I get to chit-chat. We seem to be getting along better for it. I hestitate to discuss the current state of our bizarre circumstances since things are going well. I will just say that it seems that things are finally at a mildly tense, but otherwise detached, stand-still. Let me illustrate this with an example:

I was looking at my phone the other day while having dinner with B; I was thinking about texting JB to tell him that I would be home later than I originally thought (especially considering that tardiness seems to be one of his personal peeves and additionally, I would be breaking Rule 2). B took my phone and closed it, saying, "Don't do that on my time."

He was smiling, but I've seen that look before. It seems that that is where we are. He doesn't love the idea...hell, it's pretty obvious that he doesn't like it, but for now, he is tolerating it. I always think, in this circumstance, about sacrifice. Do I ask him to sacrifice his opinions of masculinity, ownership, and loyalty? Do I sacrifice my own sexual, mental, and emotional well-being? It seems like for one to win, the other must lose. I wish I were clever enough to devise a third alternative, but for now, I just put the phone away.

State of Economy: "I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

--Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)