E-Mud Wrestling Pt. 2

Part Two: Lola's letter to A

A,

The way that you are acting is despicable. I'm not ready for all your self-loathing bullshit. You chose to fuck J after you knew my role in it. Thereby, you absolve me of any responsibility. If all this had been orchestrated by me, don't you think I'd invest more interest in it?

I don't fucking care if you have a sexual complex that makes you fuck anyone you can, as a substitute for love. (Uh, kettle...) And furthermore, when when you become attached to these men and they treat you like a one-night stand, why are you surprised? And how long do I have to pat you on the back? Maybe if you would stop being as shallow and superficial as the boys who reject you, you might find love one night, rather than lust (sage, sage advice).

But what the fuck do I know, right? You always say I don't know what I'm talking about. If you really believe that, then get off my ass. You whine and bitch constantly about what's wrong with your life, but freak out if I suggest change. So, fuck you. I'll stop suggesting, stop telling you what I know...but you had better never fucking mention K (an ex that she stalked for months, nay years, after they broke up), or your family, or your homelessness, or your slutting around, or your meeting strangers on the internet, or doing obscene amounts of drugs, etc (so fucking succinct and poetic, ain't I?...'etc'?). I never want another request for information about J or M, or what one said to the other, or to me, or anything. Because obviously, we have two different views of friendship. (So Mean Girls!)

I don't give my time easily, but I do give it to you (and lucky, lucky her). And it's never enough for you but it's substantially more than I give to others. If you have such issues, then stop calling me. And never, ever again, even think of about blaming me for the life that you have. It disgusts me (strong words, Lola) that you won't take responsibility for yourself. Maybe that isn't the rosy GAP commercial comment you want to hear, but face it for one fucking instant--it's the reality we live in.

Now, if you want to be happy...and I mean, truly happy, A...the best thing you can do for yourself is to suck it up (boy, could she...hee hee) and move on. Stop dwelling on past wrongs. There's no time in life to think about what could have or would have; it didn't. So go out and find someone who loves you. He's out there (highly dubious). If you are true to yourself, there are men out there who want your warmth, your doting, your kindness, your persistence...who know you are beautiful and mysterious. Stop wasting your time on losers with magazine faces and a passing interest in Harold and Maude.

I have faith that you can do all of this and I've based part of our friendship on trying to help you achieve it (I mean really...where do I get off!?!). I do call myself your friend and I think it's ridiculous for someone as morally detestable as J to wreck that.

Think about it,
Lola