Situational Subs

Technically, I didn't ask x if I could use these conversations, but hopefully she's anonymous enough that it doesn't matter. You see, she's one of those gallies that I can talk to for hours (and have!!) about all the implications of our kink. The best part is that, to some people, our lifestyle and preferences are just a little bit of fun with one of their more daring exes. To us, it's a journey that we take seriously (even too seriously at times) but as a result, I feel more comfortable, inspired, and clear for having known her and having had these discussions.

Cheers to carpooling!

lola: I want to have the blind faith that [Name Removed] does, but I just don't. I want it proven over and over.

x: I do not mean this in a derogatory way...but [Name Removed] has little expectations of her Tops/Doms/Daddies. She wants attention and a stream of it. That is enough to appease. Do you see? I know she has all the components...but her triggers, her evidence of fidelity is purely relational to time. I don't have that option; neither to do. I can't have H for hours. I can, only at a detriment to myself and my real life world.

lola: Yes, I see.

x: My expectations are...worse. Higher. I am by turns, exquisite and terrible. :)

lola: Which is why, no matter how much I envy her vapid acceptance, I don't want it.

x: I don't think you can be that way. Like her, I mean.

lola: I know, but when I feel like a failure, I know I see her as success.

x: Her constant [complaints] are a huge signal: Pay attention to me. Give me affection. Give me time.

lola: I see that I wish I could just be BE submissive, ask no questions, just take what they give and be grateful. And I know that I can't, so it feels like I lost somehow and she won.

x: Would you consider quantity of partners a success? Or are you like me, the pure ether of ONE is a measurable success?

lola: No, I know she's fucked up; I just envy the simplicity.

x: I dunno...I personally think that there are many levels of need.

lola: All true.

x: For the [Name Removed]’s of the world...who want to do no work...and just wants the girl to be naturally submissive...that is one course.

lola: Yeah. I hate that guy.

x: I saved this the other day...to try to blog about...“Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself.... The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer--because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut.” Because that is us. I'm not being prideful. Or scornful. Maybe I’m a tad wee elitist. :) I think I'm the shit.

lola: Nice. I wonder about that.

x: Even as a submissive....I think I'm worth only the worthy ones....the best ones. Is that wrong of me, is that not a submissive trait? Of course...I like being a brainless slut at times. :)

lola: And in turn, the flip side, me questioning my value as a possession. And me wanting to find my superior. I feel the same way. And indeed...brainless slut does not a bad time make.

x: But only after I’ve clearly been exposed as a clever minx, a catch-me-if-you-can...you DO want to catch me...sort of girl.

lola: Yes, and does this make us shitty subs?

x: It makes us...high expectation and maintenance subs. It makes me a situationally submissive creature. I am more than this kink alone.

lola: I like how that sounds. We should make cards.

lolalane
x-girl
scarlett (honorary member)