Guru to Gaga
She's right about everything. But it still sucks.
We ended the conversation with this interesting thought; she said, "I look for guys that are my intellectual superior and then I become this doting little girl." I thought, I want to be that doting little girl, but when I pick guys, they seem to move me up to this pedestal where I can never be wrong, I can never be human, and I can never not have all the answers.
I don't have all the answers. I want someone not to let me win. I want someone to say, "Shut up, lola. You're wrong." No one tells me I'm wrong. Not at home. Not at work. I'm a fucking smart girl and I am damn clever at reading people. How easy it is for me to win. How boring. How terribly exhausting. Don't expect me to be able to fix everything. I don't want that privilege; I don't want that responsibility. Respect me, but don't forget that I am fucking 24 and I am doing this all for the first time, too.
"No. Shut up. You don't know everything." It feels good.
posted by macaroon at 9:11 PM
9 Comments:
We all need that, Lola. Someone to tell us when we are wrong. Most people are afraid to. I have one friend though, that is very blunt, but always in a helpful way, and I appreciate it. Of course, a lot of other people hate him.
I am this friend. I can't believe that I actually get to say this to my precious lola but here goes nothing...
Well precious, you are wrong. For starters you are not doing this for the first time, this is God knows what go round and you are just toying with things that are hazing memories that you haven't quite decided to take complete control over and unrepress yet. I want more than anyone can possibly know or understand to be wrong and learn from the new and exciting but I coast through my more than comic book life simply being reminded of what is already recorded and has been just stored for something like prefetching, are you with me? I know you are...
Now I'm not saying that I know all and see all but I surely understand all that I come in contact with because i use all my senses freely and equally. Another word for understand is to "grasp", which simply means to hold or touch. If you break that down just a little more than you realize that if you are holding something in your hands than you are feeling it and seeing it and hearing it and smelling it and if you see fit then you can also taste it. When you experience an apple for the first time and there is no one there to tell you what it is then what is it? It is whatever you decide to make it and you decide that it is that thing and then you know it, and since your grasping it you then also understand it. At that very instant when you first met the apple or whatever you decided it was then it what once was now is and is no longer new, instantly the new becomes the old...
I want to elaborate on this because it is and was and will be again but as I said before I can't change free will I can only suggest it, later precious....
BTW...Why is the sky blue?
What?!?
I tell you to shut up all the time.
Don't I?
Hm...maybe not.
I bet I'm smarter than you little girl.
Maybe you should quit guys, and move to women if they are such a problem.....or just become an isolationist.
I wish the same sometimes, when people are always submissive to you. But then they do stand up and then that becomes awful too. Sometimes I never know if I'm coming or going.
HL. Yeah. I can relate to the hate.
Blu, I am seriously considering all that you've said. The only thing is, that there is a giant difference between that which is simple (an apple) and that which is complex (relationships, feelings, decisions), and merely naming an object cannot necessarily be applied to the layers and facets of discovery in the latter...
I think we should have a brain-off, Jerk. Grin.
And MWMadman, you're absolutely right. Why had I never considered tapping into my latent lesbianism before? It's hard to do that when you really like guys, when you really like the fella you're with. But, I'll look into it. Thanks for coming by, baby.
Poor CinnamonSpider. Have a drink, darlin'. You won't be clearer, but you won't care so much about it. Grin.
The apple was once a seed just as you were and it's the process of growth and change that is the in between that you can relate to relationships and feelings and emotions and so on and so forth but all in all you are still a whole thing a whole being which in itself is so very simplistic in form and shape, just like an apple, gotcha baby, later...
I actually have a way of doing that with girlfriends and such. Pushing them up this pedestal until they try to become arrogant and controlling and jealous ... such a fucking mess it is.
No more, I say.
No more.
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